You Know Your In The Wrong School When...
- Your dojo's symbol is a bullseye target.
- First demonstration consists of falling to the floor, curling
into the fetal position, and whimpering pitifully.
- Frequent pauses while instructor tearfully stops to right his
spilled pocket protector.
- The "gis" are used hospital gowns, and the "throwing stars"
are just slices of old cheese.
- The homework is always just to watch a Jackie Chan movie.
- The techniques are only effective if your attacker is one of
the Three Stooges.
- Instructor's low fees enhanced by take from one-on-one "pop
quizzes" in dark alleys.
- Local muggers gather in the parking lot waiting for class to
end.
- Current students bark out on cue the phrase "Insurance does
not exist in this dojo!"
- You take yourself to the mat 4 out of 5 times simply trying
to tie your belt on.
- Sensei's "ancient Chinese secret" required notifying the
neighbours when he moved in.
and the Number 1 Sign You've
Joined the Wrong Martial Arts School...
- Did Confucius ever really say he was "going to open up a
can of whoop-ass" on someone?